Seriously? Don’t be Stupid

Warning! The upcoming rant is a direct result of working with the public five days a week for over eight hours a day…
Someday I’ll have enough disposable income to quit my day job and stay home to write. Until then, I work at a bank as a teller. It’s not an overly difficult job. For the most part I enjoy what I do, but there are days when every idiot in creation walks through our double glass doors. Let me tell you, stupid people, we talk about you the second you’re ass disappears from the building. We laugh, complain and generally degrade everything about you for a few minutes and then never think about you again. You know who you are. Come on, you have to know who you are. No? Here’s a few clues in the form of my greatest customer pet peeves:

  • No, I don’t know everyone in the world or even everyone who has ever entered my bank. If I don’t know your favorite color or you mama’s name then I don’t know you well enough.
  • If you won’t trust me enough to hand over your ID, why in the f@#* are you handing me your money?
  • Yes, everyone has to abide by the policies set forth by the bank. You’re really not as special as you think you are.
  • The “Wait Here” sign isn’t just witty decoration. It has meaning and the customer I’m currently helping doesn’t want you breathing down his/her neck as I count out the thousands of dollars he/she asked for.
  • You have a negative balance? Oh, sure. Let me just give you more money to go spend foolishly.
  • Checking the ATM every hour on the hour isn’t the same as actually balancing your checkbook. If items process in an order differently than you did them, that doesn’t mean the bank is responsible for you being an idiot and spending more than you make.
  • Math is your friend. If not, use cash.

Really, I think the average person has the potential to be very smart. Unfortunately some days all I get are less than average customers. I always try to be the best customer I can possibly be, because I know the person taking care of me is only human too. My time and schedule aren’t more important than anyone else’s.

All right, end of rant. You can all now go back to your regularly scheduled programs.